Being Brutally Honest With God

Ever been angry at God? Had doubts? Questioned Him? I’ll raise my hand for this one; in fact, I’ll raise both hands because I am very much guilty of this. I can recall many times when I have questioned God, when I’ve cried out to Him out of anger, frustration, confusion and doubt. There have been times when I have thrown so many questions at Him- asking Him why certain things are happening, why He is allowing them to happen and questioning whether He is there-whether He even cares. There have also been moments when I have taken it further and have been extremely angry with God.

Looking back, God was not to blame at all, and He was not the cause of my pain either. What I felt was so painful that I pushed it all onto Him. Every inch of my hurt, I projected it onto Him. It was wrong of me to blame Him and throw my anger onto Him, I will admit that, but God in no way was surprised by this. He didn’t condemn me for it, nor did He walk away or get angry. Not even once. Instead, He understood. He held me tight and He loved me.

Honesty In The Bible

I guess we have all been in one of these situations at least once but to tell you truth, this isn’t something new. There are many places in the bible where honesty is shown- one main place being the book of Psalms where David questioned God countless times- “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1), “O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest” (Psalm 22:2). There were times when David felt abandoned by God. He questioned God numerous times and shared his feelings of despair and frustration.  Throughout Psalms, David presents many different emotions and feelings- sadness, fear, reject and even joy but he didn’t hide any of it, instead he brought everything to the Lord.

Honesty Leads To The Truth

David may have been a man of great faith but there were times when he was brutally honest with God. I mean, he was human. But, despite David’s openness, every time he finished complaining, oddly enough, he always returned back and praised God- “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13:5-6). Why might this be? Being honest with God means we open our hearts to Him and in turn to the truth. As we open our hearts, God is able to enter in, strengthen us and remind us of the truth. David, after pouring his heart out to God, remembers who God is, the good things He has done in the past and comes back to the understanding that, although he may be in pain, God is still good. He knew God would come through like he always has, and that his circumstances in no way defined God’s goodness. 

Honesty Leads To Strength  

Diving deeper, the bible shows us that it wasn’t only David who was honest with God, but Jesus was too. Luke 22:39-46 tells us that Jesus was in ‘anguish’ whilst praying in Gethsemane, before His crucifixion. He “knelt down and prayed, ‘Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done”. Jesus knew he was going to face a very cruel death. Although he wanted the will of the Father, He wasn’t entirely happy about this. His desire certainly wasn’t to be killed this way but instead of going along with what was to come and hiding His pain, He brought this to the Lord and gave Him the truth of His heart. He cried out to the Father and gave it all to Him. It was then, through Jesus’ honesty and submission, that God was able to enter and send down His angel to strengthen Him (Luke 22:43).

I think it’s safe to say, the people of the Bible were not perfect at all. They may have had such great faith but were just as weak as us. In times of struggle and uncertainty, they didn’t just go along with their pain but like you and me, they questioned God- they were honest about their pain and weaknesses. Even Jesus, as perfect and divine as He is, also showed His pain.

Whatever It May Be, Give It To Him

Unfortunately, suffering is inevitable in this life. It will drag us through a storm of emotions but instead of hiding them, God wants us to be open and honest with Him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being angry at God is right, but it isn’t uncommon. Being angry with Him or questioning Him doesn’t make you less loved by Him or a bad person. We’re human and God understands. Being honest with God means to give him the complete truth of your heart, even if the truth is that you’re angry with Him. Whatever emotion you may be feeling, whether it be anger, abandonment, rejection or sadness- tell Him. Be real and open with God. He will never leave you nor condemn you. David was very open with God, yet God did not give up on him. In fact, God held onto him and used him for His great plans.

I’m not saying to use God as a punching bag, no, but pour your heart to Him and tell Him everything you feel. It is through our honesty that He is able enter in- enter into our heart, our situation and our pain. Once you have told Him every bit of your hurt, surrender everything at His feet and let Him in. Receive His love, grace and mercy and give Him control over whatever situation you are in. Despite what you may feel, God is always with you and will never abandon you. He loves you unconditionally and will get you through the storm.

Give, Surrender And Let Him Work

Honesty really is the best policy. It’s the first step towards healing and it is where God is able to meet us. God doesn’t want us to pretend, go along with our pain or for us to completely shut Him out. But what he does want is for us to be real with Him. He desires for an honest and real relationship with us. Whatever storms you may be going through, whatever you may be feeling, don’t let it shut you out from God, nor let your doubts or questions make you feel as though God doesn’t want you anymore. But take the pain and suffering, go to the feet of the Lord and give Him the truth of your heart- every bit of it- and surrender it all to Him. It is then that He will start to work in and through you.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you”- 1 Peter 5:7

“My heart is restless until it finds rest in you, oh Lord”- St Augustine of Hippo